Oh my.

Anyway, she was so strapped for time and cash that she ended up purchasing these hideous brown-and-blue floral print galoshes that not only had centimeter-thick soles (so not helpful in the snow), but that made her legs look ridiculously shorter than the rest of her body. Point being, it’s hard to find a good boot out there.

Thankfully, I tripped over these while trying to save her from humiliation. Available in an array of different colors and adorned with cute little buttons, these not-quite-classic UGG’s will keep your toesies toasty and in style.

This collection of accessories, run by UK-based designer Lucy Averill, lives up to its name: Eclectic Eccentricity offers pieces that are both retro and contemporary, reminiscent of grandma’s knick-knacks but well-suited for the stylish and unique lady in your life. Even more fabulous? The site directs you to gifts under different price brackets, so you’re guaranteed to find something no matter what your budget.

My suggestions:

Letters to My Love Necklace

You Keep Me Captivated Birdcage Necklace

Memento Vintage Key Necklace

And then how NOT excited I was to learn that their website is under construction.

However, tons of retailers and fashion sites sell different choices from the line, and often on sale, too.

These jackets, although totally worth it, can be a little pricey– so start dropping the hint to your boys NOW that this just might be the perfect present to wrap you up in for the holidays.

And although none of us wants to place their cargo down on the sketchy aisle of, say, a subway–where it might get kidnapped– or the questionable floor of a public place, where you never know what kind of gross is lurking, sometimes we have no choice. And however gingerly we set down our bags won’t change the fact that we’re setting them down where people’s shoes have been– like the sidewalk, where doggies make number two. Or maybe a bathroom floor, where sometimes people make number two.

Um, ew.

The Purse Sitter, or Purse Hook, is available virtually anywhere. The non-slip base sits on the edge of any flat surface, and the attached hook can generally carry up to 35 pounds! That’s enough strength to hang a relatively large computer or even a relatively small dog. In a bag, of course.

And since they come in thousands of different designs, there’s a pattern out there guaranteed to match your personal style.

Check out some of my favorites here, there, and everywhere. Prices vary.

But thanks to the age-old trailer park solution known as Astro-Turf, the horticulturally-challenged have nothing to fear. The Flowery Grass Mat is not only ridiculously adorable, but requires no maintenance whatsoever. No watering (wasteful!), trimming (silly), dirt (gross), bugs (super gross), or worries about possibly-rabid rodents needed. Plus, with the holidays just around the corner, it’s the perfectly priced gift for that quirky, cat-loving aunt or cousin who fancies herself a flower-child.

Get it for $24.00 or, if you prefer the cheaper, less-flowery version, hit up Amazon for grassy knolls starting at just $5.99.

Ladies, we’ve all done it. You’re walking down the street when some poor girl cuts you off and BAM—all you can see are unfortunately prominent panty lines for miles and miles. We laugh– until the paranoia sets in, and we’re stuck spending the rest of the day checking out our own assets in shop windows and rain puddles.

Ouch.

The birth of the thong eliminated some of the fear, but not everyone likes to floss. Plus, some standard underthings can still give you the ever-dreaded Muffin Top, and prompt people to walk by you and whisper suggestively, “Crack kills…” because of your VAC (Visible A** Crack). And that’s just tacky.

Girls, the Invisible Thong by Commando Thongs has come to save us from this unnecessary embarrassment. Similar in design to the Wacoal iBra, the state-of-the-art cut, coupled with expertly combined fabrics that maximize comfort, is the long-awaited solution to the Double Butt: the restricting-panties side-effect that makes us appear as though we’ve stuffed too much junk in the trunk.

Support Our Cheeks and go pseudo-commando with these babies, without the risk of nasty chafing and a lumptastic derriere— or the terrible possibility of pulling a Britney as you step out for a night on the town.

Get bootylicious here, for just $20 a pop.

For reasons I couldn’t explain if I tried, I think there is something weirdly evil about Pottery Barn; however, these candles would look lovely as a part of my dream bungalow decor collection.

You can go Pottery Barn’s website and check them out, OR, you can view them on the not-at-all-weirdly-evil website, Amazon. I recommend the latter.

Since I assume the latter is the case, I’ve come to the conclusion that a lot of you need a level 10 make up gift. Something that would help get you out of the I-accidentally-ran-over-her-cat, or, I-forgot-our-anniversary doghouse.

Gentleman, behold the Love Inside Ring:

This little baby is made from sterling silver and, if you can’t tell, is designed to hold a tiny piece of mylar paper (included) on which you can write love notes for your lady.

Or, in this case, apology notes?

I can’t guarantee it will grant you access into the bedroom again, but a gift as romantic and adorable as this will probably buy you back into the actual house where you can, you know, sleep curled up next to the bedroom door.

Check it out on Colleen Baran’s Etsy shop here.

Ladies, with the whole time change and winter just around the corner, nightfall is starting to come on a little quicker. And while I’m sure you don’t usually think twice about walking to your car after work, after the club, after long nights at the casino, I thought I’d suggest a fancy, fashionable product for safety anyway.

Now you know there’s at least one ounce of love in my cold, black, judgmental heart.

From marksandspencer.com:

A unique and revolutionary personal safety alarm for women. If you’re attacked the adrenalin in your body can cause you to lose your voice. This small alarm emits an extremely loud female scream designed to shock and disorientate your attacker, giving you a chance to flee.

This stylish alarm is designed as a discreet accessory that can be kept close at hand - attached to a key ring or clipped to your handbag. To activate, simply pull sharply on the chain.

Isn’t it adorable? Adorable safety is something I can see myself really getting into. Go check out the website, here.

Or, if you prefer a more traditional looking model, Amazon has a great one on sale for only $5.99!

If you loved the Bubble Necklace I posted a few weeks ago, here’s something to match. Colleen Baran makes these gorgeous rings and sells them on her Etsy shop, which means each one is special and unique. Two qualities I love in my accessories.

$119.00 on Etsy