Forty-two percent court jester, fifty-eight percent saucy minx– one-hundred percent badass.

In red or gold, from Irregular Choice.

Chances are, your girl comes home at the end of the day with aching feet for one of the following reasons: she wears high heels all day, she stands up all day, she wears high heels and stands up all day, she works with children, she works with adults who act like children, or, she occasionally has to chase down peacocks that run away from the farm/ zoo/ military base (have seen peafowl at all of these locations, and they’re freaking fast. Shut up.).

Whatever the reason, her being pissed about last weekend’s Easter prank (could’ve told you that dressing like a bunny in a priest costume was not funny), we guarantee she’ll be stoked find these deliciously luxurious slippers waiting for her at home. Lined with NapSoft memory foam, these contoured slippers alleviate pressure and provide extra support for even the sorest toes and heels. She’ll have to start talking to you again, even if it’s just to order you to remove her awful heels and replace them with these awesome slippers.

From Brookstone.

Our guess is that, somewhere along the line, your lady told you she was “Bleeping tired of hearing your bleeping bullsh*t” or something just as eloquent. Rather than try to talk her down or argue a point, might we suggest closing your trap, grabbing her iPod, and hooking it up to one of these delectable pairs of headphones in her favorite shade. Offering crystal clear sound quality, an ultra-comfortable design and the “zound plug”– a neat little device that allows you to hook a friend (or perhaps, forgiven boyfriend?) up to share your tunes– these lightweight, super sleek ‘phones just might keep you from having to sleep in your car- again.

Available in tons of colors! Our favorites: white, red, army green, purple, chocolate, and gun metal gray.

I can’t help but feel a little bit like I’m hopping on the Paranoia Train, but let’s be real– there have been a lot of earthquakes and other natural disasters around the world lately, and they’ve been big ones. It never hurts to be prepared– SCW has determined that this earthquake survival kit provides you with the best preparedness tools for the best price. This kit offers ample food and water rations (twice the amount offered by leading competitors), medical supplies, a radio, whistle, signal mirror, compass, light sticks, flint starter, waterproof matches, survival sleeping bags and body warmers, a tube tent, knife, and much more to keep you and a loved one safe, clean, and even entertained– a deck of cards is included in case you feel like…playing strip poker in the rubble or something.

Get yours for $95.00.

When your lady’s pissed at you, manfriends, the last thing you should do is tell her to calm down. Or chill. Or ask her why it’s such a ‘big deal’ that you have over thirty different types of flavored condoms and a disposable cell phone in a duffel bag hidden under the bed.

Ahem.

Instead, shut your mouth, present her with this stress-relieving, heated shiatsu neck massager and hope for the best. A large glass of wine wouldn’t hurt, either.

From Homedics.

Usually, if you woke up and said “Sweetie, I’m gonna go put the eggs in the toaster!” you’d run the risk of returning to your bed only to find it totally empty, with perhaps the lingering scent of your man’s fear hanging in the air. But alas, this excellent egg-muffin-breakfast-sandwich toaster allows you to do exactly that– toast yummy English muffins while steam-poaching eggs, all with one simple-to-use appliance!

Only $57.00.

Sorry kids– the website decided to take a little vacation without telling any of us here at SCW headquarters, and when she came back? She was super tan and had clearly spent the last week drinking Pina Coladas and rockin’ a scuba mask… but wouldn’t confess her whereabouts. But after letting her sober up for a bit, we’re back! And today, for you lovelies:

As with many things, we often think we suck at something because we’ve never really tried it out. So was the case with me and cooking, and after being coerced into making rice, I can now make a badass pasta-cheese casserole that will leave you happily drifting in a food coma. Next up: photography. It takes quite a lot of practice and skill to become a master photographer, but everyone’s gotta start somewhere; and yep, it’s a pricey hobby, but totally worth the incredible memories you’ll capture over and over. This camera was recommended to me by a professional– it’s easy to use, great to learn with, and does a lot of the dirty work (read: focus, aperture, steady shots) for you. If you’re really interested in getting going in the world of photos and film, check it out!

From Canon.

Yeah, I gasped when I saw this, too.

Hailing from the motherland of tech invention, this Japanese digital cosmetic mirror allows you to test different makeup looks without the hassle and facial abuse of physically applying them. A webcam scans your face, uploads it to the “screen” and voila– you become your very own electronic Fashion Fever Barbie Styling Head. The mirror lets you test eyeshadows, liners, lipstick and more, offering helpful tips or color combinations you might like based on your choices (amazing!). Think of the time, effort and cash you’ll save, not to mention the damage that applying, scrubbing off, and reapplying cosmetics can do to your poor little face. Check out the video!

Via JapanTrends.

Remember that scene in Say Anything where John Cusack holds a Peter-Gabriel-blaring radio above his head to win back the affections of his lady? Although some may argue that standard radios are becoming increasingly obsolete, hybrid, eco-friendly radios are another story. Hybrid, because you can totally hook up you iPod or other mp3 player to it. Eco-friendly because this radio is made of wood. Awesome, right? Using sustainable, organic materials, designer Singgih Kartono has brought us the epitome of electronics gone green, so following Mr. Cusack’s lead (and then handing over the radio)? Just got contemporary. And boys– if you’re really in trouble with your lady, you can always pretend you made the thing yourself.

From Areaware.

Did you guys know that you can cook rice and steam vegetables without (1) the risk of setting your house on fire; (2) the risk of setting yourself on fire; or (3) ending up with clumpy/ gooey/ burnt rice and limp veggies? Because YOU TOTALLY CAN. And, at the same time!

(If you did know that, shh. Don’t judge.)

This awesome, compact rice-and-veggie combo steamer is perfect for girls who either don’t have the time to whip up a healthy meal, or those who just…can’t. Toss in some dry rice on the bottom, some yummy veggies or fish on top, add water, flip a switch, and about 20 minutes later, you’ve got yourself a perfectly cooked, perfectly delicious meal. Plus, it’s super cheap!

Only $12.99 on Amazon.